


Coffee Shop Bitching

by theGirlNightwing



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, M/M, RIP, Slight OOC, james and aaron bitching abt tjeffs and aham, look i wrote this in an hour on a plane, when i should've been writing kinkcember
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 14:18:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8755879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theGirlNightwing/pseuds/theGirlNightwing
Summary: aaron burr and james madison have weekly meetings in a coffee shop to discuss (bitch about) hamilton and jefferson being #idiots





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anciental](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anciental/gifts).



> i didnt edit this
> 
> modern au i think? idk man

“Oh my god,” James says. 

Aaron mumbles his agreement. 

“I knew they would clash. We both knew they would clash.”

“Mhm.”

“But not to  _ this extent.” _

“Yup.”

“You should’ve heard Thomas, I could  _ swear  _ the man is secretly in love with Hamilton, the way he went off about him.”

“I heard Hamilton on Jefferson, that’s enough for me.”

“What’d he say?”

“Aren’t you two friends?”

“Not anymore.”

Aaron shakes his head. “He rambled on and on about how much of a southern purple-loving fuck Jefferson is.”

“If Hamilton thinks Jefferson loves purple, I can’t wait until he discover’s the macaroni fuck’s love for  _ cheese pasta.” _

“It’s not actually that bad -”

“Yes it is. Shut up, Burr.”

“I’m going to get another coffee,” Aaron says. “Do you -?”

“Yes. My usual. Thanks.”

“Yup.” Aaron stands, and makes his way to the counter of the coffee shop. 

The two of them meet weekly there to complain about Hamilton - though now that Jefferson has returned to America, they might have to alter the purpose to complaining about Jamilton - which sounds like - 

“What do you think would happen if they just got so angry at each other that one of them snapped and they started making out?” James asks the table he’s face-planted on as Aaron slides back into the booth. 

Aaron snorts and sips his coffee. “As gay as both of them are, no.”

“Do you really not see it? There’s so much sexual tension potential.” He groans, realizing something. “And I’m going to be stuck in the middle.”

“Good luck,” Aaron says. 

James flips him off.

* * *

“Sorry.”

“I ain’t even mad honestly.” Aaron sips his coffee. “You had to sit in a room with two of the most sexually frustrated idiots ever, I bet there was lots of eyeing disguised as glaring.”

“You’re right, fuck you.”

Aaron grins. “Did Alex really sell Jefferson on the banks by blowing him?”

James splutters. “Fucking - if he did I’m going to kill Thomas, thinking with his dick, really… and not  _ telling me.” _

“So it wasn’t in front of you?”

“ _ No it wasn’t in front of me why would they have sex in front of me? _ ”

Aaron shrugs. “It’s such a Hamilton thing to do.”

James considers. “It’s a Jefferson thing to do, too, I guess.”

“Exhibitionists, both of them.” 

“Yup.” 

The two sit in companionable silence for the next hour. 

* * *

"Alex had sex again."

James rubs his eyes. "Why do i care?"

"It wasn't with his wife. Again. She doesn't know. Again." Aaron looks about ready to have an aneurism. 

James sighs and puts his head in his hands. "Why are we friends with these idiots?"

"I don’t know," Aaron mumbles into his triple shot espresso. "I don’t know"

* * *

“Okay, but Jefferson was staring at Alex’s butt.”

“Oh I know,” James says. “He spent an hour ranting to me about it.” 

“About the butt?’

“Yeah. It was very, very weird. And awkward. You’re coming with me next time.” 

“You know he hates me, right?”

“I don’t care what Thomas thinks of you, I like you, so you’re going to come with.”

“Aww, you like me!”

“Shut the fuck up Burr.”

* * *

“How often does he cheat on his wife?”

“I don’t  _ know _ ,” Aaron complains, forking over a ten to pay James back for the last visit. “First Laurens, then I swear, I swear to  _ God _ Madison, he was fucking Washington. Then Jefferson - again there’s no way they haven’t. No way.” 

“Agreed.” James sips his frappuccino - an attempt to cut down his caffeine intake - and makes a disgusted face. 

“And then this Maria girl. I don’t - what is he even doing?”

“Sleeping with everyone.”

A pause. 

“You don’t think -”

“He’s totally flirted with me,” James says, horrified. “Oh my god. Is he just - just making rounds, or something? Has he hit on you?”

Aaron is suspiciously silent. 

“You’ve had sex with Hamilton.”

“How much will you murder me if I plead the fifth?”

James slams his hands down on the table, rattling their cups. Aaron jumps. “Don’t use my own writing against me, dammit!”

“If it’s so easily used against you then why did you write it?”

“Fuck off.”

“Nah, I quite like it here.”

* * *

Aaron is hunched over a mug when James arrives. 

James slides into the booth and doesn’t say anything. 

Aaron just sips his coffee. 

“How many shots are in that?” James asks eventually. 

Aaron looks up. “Espresso or alcohol?”

James pulls a face. “Did you mix them? Really, Burr? You know that’s bad for you, right?”

“Ten shots of espresso would wreak havoc on my internal systems anyway, might as well go all the way.”

“I can’t believe you,” James sighs. “I can’t fucking - I can’t believe.”

Aaron remains silent. 

It’s another full fifteen minutes before either of them speak again. Aaron groans, shoves himself to press into the seatback. “A pamphlet? Really?” 

James shakes his head. “I - yeah. I don’t know.”

Aaron exhales loudly. “I hate this.”

“Me too, man. Me too.”

* * *

"THOMAS AND HIS FUCKING CHEESE" James yells, slamming open the door to the coffee shop.

Aaron is already face-planted onto their usual table. "Dear Jesus," he groans as James stomps over.

“I hate him, the macaroni fuck, Jesus Christ.”

“What’d he do this time?”

“Someone gave him a wheel of cheese and the first thing he asks is, ‘no federalist cows contributed, right?’ I hate him. I’m going to kill him one day.”

“You love him,” Aaron says. “You might eventually be the cause of his death but you won’t kill him anytime soon.”

“You’re right,” James concedes. 

“I always am.”

“No you aren’t, fuck off.”

“Fight me, Madison.”

* * *

"You suck," Aaron says, sliding into their booth, next to James instead of across from him. 

James looks up from the coffee he’s nursing. "Hello to you too, Mr. Vice President. Thomas is an idiot, but I’m his friend. No offense, but he and I are closer."

Aaron sighs. "That's valid, i suppose."

James puts his arm around Aaron's shoulders. "Look on the bright side," he says. 

There's a pause. A family of four passes by them, headed for the counter. The kids are young, and the girl keeps staring at them. 

"Yes?" Aaron prompts, tearing his eyes away. 

James shrugs. "I was thinking. I can’t think of one."

"I hate you."

"I hate you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading bro  
> the-girlnightwing.tumblr.com hmu w prompts n shit ;;;))) (new blog)


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